My mind was caught in a pattern of thought that caused my heart pain one day. And as diligently as I practiced presence, the grip of this thought would not release, would not quiet, leaving my heart without the ability to have a moment, just a moment, relieved from the anguish that consumed it. 

With a life devotion to awakening and a multitude of practices and modalities effective to assist in the healing process, you would have thought one of them would have offered me more than a momentary reprieve. But this was not the case. The current of painful thoughts and feelings that kept me in its rushing grip felt like a white water rapid catching me, a tiny branch, in its rush, and carrying me along its journey against my will. 

On this distressful day I was practicing a basic sunrise ashtanga asana near a beautiful body of water. Even though the morning was bright, and the nature in which I found myself was breathtaking, I could enjoy it only slightly, for my mind was in its state of anxious activity triggered by a pattern that was acting out something in my unconscious mind, not wanting to come out directly. 

The beginning of my morning routine was a forward bend, with my palms under my feet. The touch of the palms to the undersides of the feet always felt so lovely. In fact, I would often hang out in this one position with circular breathing for long periods.

As my breath took me deeper, my awareness broadened and I could hear the lapping of the water upon the shore. The gentle, continuous sound was moving at the same rhythm as my breath. It was like the water wanted to join me where I was, like a dear friend. 

Presence began to envelope me, even while my mind continued its triggered pattern. Then suddenly, without any cognitive direction, a new thought arose~

The Infinite goes everywhere. 
The Infinite goes where the mind goes. 

Peace and consolation washed through me as the two thoughts bubbled in my brain. Even though my mind was unable to stop its pattern, the Infinite was there with me in my delusion. I was not alone. I was not separate, I was accompanied even in the delusional patterns of thought causing dis-ease. 

Continuing in the forward bend, palms under the feet, breathing in large circles through my body a question arose next. It is a question I often use in guided meditations, but here it happened unexpectedly,
Why are you here? 

I love the question because it is always alive and always full of new insight due to our ever-changing nature. When the question came this morning, a wave of quiet flooded me. The Kimberly of me became capable of waiting to hear the answer without reflection. 

I heard not long after:
You are here because I love you.

The answer carried with it a knowing beyond words. The very answer took the whole of me into its communion. Tears streamed from me, washing my heart and mind. It was an exhale, Ahhhhhhhhh, all is well. The answer took me into a place of consolation that did not abate for the entire day. 

~~~~~~~~~~

What a consoling experience, right? Reflecting upon it now, it stirs a few questions, ‘Why does consolation matter and where does or can it take us?’  

Consolation seems to awaken our senses. The world looks brighter, the mind relaxes into the wordless knowing of Being, the body becomes lighter and the heart opens to its nature of joy and love. 

Consolation can play a valuable role upon our spiritual paths. It gives us the chance to reflect upon what is life-giving and what is not, and why. In one way, we can’t seek consolation just to feel better, for we might delude ourselves. And in another way, all experience of unmitigated reality bears the fruit of consolation like I shared in my story above. This means that coming closer to what consoles us can pull back layers and lead us to greater intimacy with ourselves. Anytime we have something that can have many answers depending on where we are internally, we have a way to discover ourselves more deeply. 

There are two seeds I want to plant here. 

The first seed has to do with discovering what is consoling, when deeper spiritual moments come upon us. 

The first consolation in my story above was to experience directly that even my own delusional thoughts cannot take me away from the Infinite, and in fact the Infinite GOES wherever I go. 

The second consolation was when I experienced the Infinite with me in the pain and the pattern. In that very pain and pattern, this direct experience took place:

I am seen, I am not alone and I am loved. 

These are three very distinct consolations. One would have been overflowing with comfort but it happened for some mysterious reason to be three revelations this time. 

So what is consoling to me upon my spiritual awakening process? 

To experience the Divine in every aspect of my being,
and to experience this Divine seeing me, abiding with me and loving me. 

Discovering what is consoling for you in these moments and point to what your soul is calling for and in turn, you can then choose the path that meets the desire of your soul. 

The horizons that consolations such as these open up for us are vast and unique. When you last experienced a deep peace or illuminated state, what was the unspoken part of that consolation? Was it that all life is created good? Or perhaps, all is well and all will be well? Or maybe it was that you are embraced right as you are….

The very consolation can lead us deeper in self discovery. In unveiling what IS consoling, in addition to the good feelings and insightful thoughts, we get to know what is important to our souls. This learning is integral to our being here in this life. 

The second seed has to do with our senses. I was reading a couple passages in the Radiance Sutras yesterday (probably no surprise to many of you,) and enjoyed these few lines found on page 279. Lorin takes the word Indriya from Sutra 66 and offers a deeper translation of its meaning. Part of what he wrote included these thoughts:

The senses permeating our bodies are to be celebrated as Divine. 
Inwardly cherish it, welcome its music.
Welcome its continuous flow of information. 

This means to me that our senses are tied up in how consoled we are at any given moment. This means that they can be another gateway to self discovery. When one sense is consoled, it becomes a ‘way to God.’ It becomes safe passage into the deep waters of knowing. 

The last line of the sutra caught me, for as we welcome the music of the senses, we also open ourselves to an unending flow of Divine information. The very consolation, opening us to information, leads us into the heart of a paradox~ ultimate rest and ultimate movement. Opening to Divine information is causes expansion and evolution, which is a form of movement that is the awakening of Consciousness in us and as us while simultaneously giving us rest.

Isn’t that simply brilliant?
What is the role you allow consolation to play in your own life? 
Do you feel drawn to allow it to lead you deeper on your path of self-discovery?